Kitambo, in Kenya, people never used to hug as much as we do nowadays. Hugging has become like a form of greeting and a form of biding fare well.
There are many different kinds of hugs. I will just mention a few of my own.
First, there is the friend hug, whereby you hug your friends casually. This hug doesn’t normally involve the use of both arms but in some cases, both arms can be used. A friendly hug involves a simple embrace.Here, people tend to use one arm, hug on the front or by the side…what I like to call side hugs. This type of hugs don’t really matter or mean so much.
Then there is the intimate hug that comes about in relationships. Here, hugs are meant to be tight and last for 5seconds minimum. But what I came to realize, most Kenyan men do not know how to hug. Very few know how.
It could maybe be because they fear PDA or it’s not something they like, but even so, those who claim to be good at it have proven not to deliver the well desired hug. Most seem to hug like they are in a hurry, or like they need to get over and done. I normally say, if you don’t feel like it, don’t force. Guys should know that something simple like a hug tells a lot about what you feel and what kind of person you are. It is part of non-verbal communication and how you use it will only communicate so much.
This brings me back to the sub-conscious. We tend to under estimate this element so much. Personally I view the sub-conscious as a very dangerous and destructive element of the human body. This is because I tend to look at it as deceptive; it’s like being possessed. The sub-conscious makes someone do something without knowing. Kind of takes control over you for a sec. Not drifting too far from the point, applying the sub-conscious in hugging, a guy who likes you will tend to give you much better hugs. The guy himself will not realize that the hug he just gave exceeds the limit boundary for a friendly hug. On the other hand, your man can give you the friendly hug without realizing that he is doing so. This to me can only mean two things; that the interest percentage level is at 70% and the guy himself does not realize it or he just sucks at hugging!
All in all, I think it’s not good to do things for the sake of doing them. Do not hug someone for the sake of hugging just because it’s some new age greeting trend. If you aint feeling it, do what I do, use your hands people.
May not be the most hygienic method but at least you won’t be leaving the other person thinking, “If you dint want to hug…” I bet you all have come across people who give really pathetic so to speak, hugs.
As a reminder, if you’re going to hug someone whom you consider special, don’t make it short.