In Ecclesiastes 4:9-13, we read that two are better than one, because they have a good return in their work. Two are better than one not only in marriage but even as friends in a godly relationship. It is God’s intention that we settle in marriage. He has made this clear even when we read Genesis 2:18, 20, 23; In verse 18, the Lord God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”.
Furthermore, it is God Himself who PRESENTS us with a mate. We need not search for someone on our own, this will only lead to a downfall and wrong selection. In verse 20 to 23 of the same chapter, we see that Adam gave names to livestock, birds etc. but was not able to find himself a suitable helper. So in short, God put Adam to a deep sleep and removed Eve from him, woke him up and presented her to him. Wait for God to present you with your mate. Just like he did with Adam, He shall put you to sleep. So don’t open your eyes and wink at any Mary, Jane or Ashley you see.
Some people endure marriage. Marriage is not something to be endured. By enduring I mean, some couples who are not living a God based marriage and have devised their own ways of settling their challenges and seem to think they are okay. In fact even the devil leaves them alone because he knows they are already in the wrong track. Instead of enduring marriage, couples should dedicate their marriage to God and live a God based marriage.
There is a spiritual side as to why many are single. We tend to block our minds from believing that there is another world that exists. Truth is, there are two worlds, the dark and the light. It is therefore important that we become aware of what is happening and the devils tricks. It’s written even in the scriptures that Knowledge is indeed important. Some of the spiritual factors according to Rev. Matco that we need to consider are as follows; I have added my own words to shed more light.
Spiritual Factors Why Many Are Single
Psalms 11:3: When foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?
If you come from a family where marriages don’t work, or marriage is being endured or people do not want to get married or are not getting married etc., that power will fight you. If your lineage is from a polygamous family, it will follow you.
Even now, whatever we do will affect our children, starting with our behaviors etc. If you keep drinking yourself silly and practicing immorality. Do not be surprised to see your child having the same behaviors.
Lamentations 5:7: Our fathers sinned and are no more, and we bear the punishment. So remember, whatever you do will affect your children.
These are basically words that people sometimes say casually or when they are angry. For instance your parent can be mad at you for some reason and say some words that they never really meant which would later come to haunt you. I remember one of my friend’s mother told me that I will never get married because men will fear me with my IT master’s degree. I rebuked her words in Jesus name. Anytime someone shoots such evil decrees upon you, don’t just sit or stand there and swallow the bitter bill, reply to them and banish there decrees. In Kenya we use the words “Shindwe katika jina la Yesu” meaning It shall not pass in Jesus name. I know I use it a lot.
In Deuteronomy 33:6, Reuben’s father cursed him which later brought Reuben so many troubles.
Wrong marriages are not marriages at all. Forced marriages can be brought about by factors such as unwanted pregnancies, marriages that include battering of spouses etc. There are some people who are living like prisoners in their own homes.
Evil marks come to you when you are in a polluted environment. The environment can be the people you hung around with. People have received evil marks due to wrong company. Hanging out with immoral people will draw you to be just like them. Their curses shall follow you. Show me your friend and I will tell you your character and plus you are the average of the five people you hung around. When you stay with the anointed you become blesses and the opposite is also true. So be careful whom you let into your life. As long as Lot was with Abraham heavens doors were closed and once Lot left, the doors opened.
The house helps we employ also inflict evil marks on our kids. We do not know where some of them really come from and there uncouth behaviors can rub in our kids. That’s just in other news though.
Do not think that you will just sit there and pray to God to remove such people in your life. You should make the initiative to leave the wrong company.
Evil marks can also be via objects. There are some gifts that you should receive and those that you shouldn’t. For instance we do not know what this gifts that we are given by our Indian bosses have. I remember my Indian supervisor gave me rings to wear round my finger and toe finger as a farewell gift. Hopefully they had no evil marks bestowed upon them in Jesus name. I trust her though.
So all those evil marks can tie you down to single hood.
Sexual sin for that matter forms a barrier between us and God. Pre-marital sex, sleeping with someone’s husband or wife etc. As you open your legs literally, you are closing your destiny.
Sin will slow your break through not only by tying you to single hood but even limiting your success career wise etc. To men, erection is not direction. Sexual sin is the reason why many stay single. Let us all strive to remain pure for at the end of the day your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I have learnt that the Holy Spirit is very important in our lives, so you wouldn’t want to make dirty where the Holy Spirit lives otherwise it will not have any place to stay in you until you clean up the mess. I mean would you want to live in a dirty place hmm?
Break free from sin
Every good thing comes via your positioning. God positions you first before giving you something. You might think that God is punishing you but he is actually preparing you for blessings. You might have been dumped by a man/woman whom you loved, but God is only positioning you for someone even better who will love you and respect you, and who knows your worth. You might have been praying for a job for a long time but nothing seems to come your way, do not fret, use your time well, for God is only positioning you, preparing you for something better. He cannot give you something that you are not ready for. He knows the desires of your heart and what is good for you so trust Him. The job you might be praying for may even be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. Ever heard of the phrase be careful what you wish for? See God Knew you and knew your destiny from the foundations of these earth even before you were born. Read my post on strength in your journey for more on your destiny before foundations of the earth.
Use your heart to interpreted scripture. Don’t just read with your mind. Ask God to send the Holy Spirit to guide you as you read the scriptures. The word of God also contributes to your positioning. When you understand the word of God, you will stop worrying about your single hood. Otherwise, you will keep dating any Tom, Dick and Hurry. Or Mary, Jane and Ashley, who will use you, waste your time and dump you leaving you to start all over again. Why suffer such an emotional roller coaster? Isn’t it better to let God use you, prepare you and position you to be found or to find Mr. or Ms. Right? But that just me.
Your friends also determine your positioning. New levels come with new people. Think of the friends you hung out with. If your friends keep saying how marriage is a prison and prefer to be single, ha, see how that will rub on you.
We all have some description of how we want our partners to look like. I for one want a TDH (Tall Dark and Handsome), “Dark” here meaning man as was used in the 20th century Hollywood context etc. We should however not hold on to these descriptions and make them our idols. There is a way that seems innocent to a man but only leads to destruction. You will miss out on the man or woman God presents to you just because you have held on to your internal idol (description). It is not wrong to have these fantasies of how we want our partners to look like, we should actually ask God to give us a partner with the description we want but also ask for His will to be that e.g. “Father God I want a tall, chocolate and handsome guy with hazel eyes but You know who‘s right for me and so whoever You bring my way is the best for me and I am his rib and so may your will be done”(example of a woman prayer).
God does not give finished products. He gave man trees, and they made chairs, beds, papers etc.
God gives you something to work with.
Work on you wood until you get your chair. I for a fact that I will work on my man until I get my prince.