Painful Bleeding :Bondage Part 1

As I look back exactly one year and a month later, I deeply regret the decision I made on the 16th of August 2013.But how was I to know? I am just a mortal,unable to predict the future.
Illustration:Illicit drugs such as meth can be soo good provided you continue taking them,until they are taken away from you.
If only I had known how much it would have cost me,I wouldn’t have dared to tred those waters.
They say that we don’t make mistakes, but have only lessons to learn. If I were to go by that,ad say this has got to be one of my major life lessons.
The withdrawal symptoms are nerve wrecking I can barely recognize “me”. I hide behind a smile and my sometimes meaningless utterances.
The crave for a distraction that would steer my mind far away beneath what ever existed,what used to be. But no,I still have to deal with the spots that trigger memories, digital footprints on my wall depicting a happy people but consequently triggering a ripple effect of the best days of my life. A life that made me blossom like a flower exposed to pure morning sunshine. I was the sunshine then.
A life that had a future so bright that you’d require shades. A life that would’ve been legally sealed by the close of this very year only to begin again the year that followed on a high note.No oxymoron intended.Yes,this life would have sunshine, novio and jj.Hurts being a dreamer.
The lion of the dark realms has roared, and all that’s left are scars,bondage and black fumes.
It’s time to break the bondage and though the struggle has been real,
God has given me strength in all this.I wouldn’t have survived this turmoil.
I am aware that my cut is deep,so deep, and I can feel the blood oozing each passing day.Sometimes it oozes a bit,but sometimes, it oozes like a tap left open.It’s hard to walk around with bandages just to stop the blood from flowing and worse,to let the public see.
Good thing God wipes my blood every day.Though I have quite a number of layers to go,I know God is going to wipe the blood in each layer until we get to the top and He shall heal and bind my wound.For all things work together for good to those who love Him.
I can’t wait for the day when I will finally be free from this bondage and healed. I can’t help but wonder, what did I get myself into? Will this aftermath end?
Now I have become a captive. Afraid to tred into such waters again,afraid of running to Ishmael instead of Isaac.
This healing process has been a journey in itself though and thanks be to God.
Thank you Lord for leading me and taking the wheel in my life. I never knew God would talk to me until He did,and He told me to delight myself in Him and He shall fulfill the desires of my heart. I know one would say that’s a bible verse.True, it is a bible verse,but believe me when I say,I had no idea of those words until that day.
So I am left with 3 more months to go in this rehab and finally get to close this chapter forever and ever and ever.
The Lion of the tribe of Judah shall roar this time round.

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